Album - Screw Shareholder Value

 

Bad Vultee

 

Wingspan

 

Wingspan - one hundred and ten feet

Length - seventy-four feet, seven inches

Height - twenty-nine feet, one and a half inch

Thirty-nine thousand four hundred pounds empty

Seven hundred passengers

Seven hundred stupid people

Wing area - one thousand square feet

A thousand and forty-eight square feet

Thirty-nine thousand four hundred pounds empty

 

Empty

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Drugsar

 

We are the Drugsars

We know where the drugs are

We have a long black car

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Go Figure

 

Introducing

Stencils from Zurich

A trailer for roads

We have razor blades

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Gone

 

Gone

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Feel No Pain

 

Needle in a vein

I'm a freight train

I'm a carrier

Feel no pain

Needle in a vein

I'm a freight train

Sweet Jesus

Feel no pain

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Highschool

 

Wanna buy something?

 

Say after me:

We've got too much money

We've got platform feet

We are the queens of shopping

We live on Oxford street

 

You can do it in the bus by night

You can lick my blade

You can do it in the 25 stupid

When you've paid

Knife, Paper, Stone & Guns

 

Knife

Cuts paper

Wraps stone

Blunts knife

Cuts paper

Wraps stone

Blunts knife

The guns are good

 

The guns are good

 

Knife

Paper

Stone

Paper

Knife

Paper

Stone

The guns are good

 

Knife

Cuts paper

Wraps stone

Blunts knife

Cuts paper

Wraps stone

Blunts knife

The guns are good

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Nice

 

Nice grass

I walked past the grass

Nice flowers

I walked past the flowers

Nice trees

I walked past the trees

Nice park

I walked past the park

Nice post office

 

Nice grass

I walked past the grass

Nice flowers

I walked past the flowers

Nice trees

I walked past the trees

Nice park

Nice post office

Nice people

 

So I walked right along the covered walkway

Towards the post office

Walking with a knife in each hand

I cut their fucking heads off

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Shut the Fuck Up

 

Shut, shut, shut the fuck up

 

Look

Shut the fuck up

 

Time, time, time...

 

Shut, shut, shut the fuck up

 

Give over

 

Shut, shut, shut the fuck up

 

Look Shut the fuck up

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Two in the Nose

 

Two, on the back, up front

Two on the back, behind

 

Two in the tail

 

Two in the left side and blister

Two in the right side and blister

 

Two in the nose

T H E   S V V - P R O J E C T    “ G O   F I G U R E ”

F E E L   N O    P A I N

M

Y

-

D

O

M

I

N

I

O

N

-

N

L

-

©

2

0

1

2

 

H O M E

 

B A C K

Go Figure album

In October 1997, news broke that seemed to confirm previous dark rumours, that Eldritch had returned with a spoiler album. We feel that the events surrounding the album are probably best explained by quoting a press release issued at the time:

 

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"SSV "Go Figure"

 

After years of stalemate, Mr Andrew Eldritch has managed to get East West

to accept (in lieu of two remaining Sisters albums) a record bearing

no resemblance whatsoever to The Sisters Of Mercy.

This album will be released - if at all - under a completely different name,

which is just as well, as it's got practically nothing to do with the Sisters.

Furthermore, East West agreed not to hear the album in advance....

so it bears no resemblance to any quality product, let alone the Sisters.

 

....in return for which, Mr Eldritch agrees to let East West keep 75000 pounds

which they owe him, and which they were refusing to pay in any event.

Unsurprisingly in the circumstances, Mr Eldritch made sure that East West

got the record they deserve, but made sure that they then paid a lot more for it than he deserves....

....especially for one afternoon recording the occasional mumble

on the reject material of some amateur acquaintances from Hamburg. Go figure.

 

It is rumoured, indeed, that the whole album only took two days

from start to finish (somewhat less than the usual nine months),

and that the "rather bad sub-techno" music was under-average

and boring even before the drums were mysteriously removed.

The "lyrics" dwell almost exclusively on the glorification of shooting

people and selling drugs to schoolchildren.

It is rumoured that the full name of the band (SSV-NSMABAAOTWMODAACOTIATW) stands

for "Screw shareholder value - not so much a band as another opportunity to

waste money on drugs and ammunition courtesy of the idiots at Time Warner". Go figure.

 

How desperate must the corporation be?

Desperate enough to try and force an artist to record

with threats of massive litigation after a seven-year impasse,

expecting him to make a good record while witholding a fortune

in back-royalties, and then desperate enough to pay "a very large

amount" for a record which the artist neither wrote, nor composed,

nor arranged, nor produced, whose content is merely a puerile

attempt to be as offensive as possible? Go figure.

 

Finally, rumour has it that the record company are planning to release it,

which would, you might think, be a conscious insult to the general public

if East West were smart enough to know a pile of crap when they hear it.

Either way, go figure.

 

Anyway, Mr Eldritch is now free to resume his recording career

with The Sisters Of Mercy, who have been waiting very patiently for

him at a chemist's round the corner, and very sensibly having nothing

to do with the SSV album - because they didn't have to.

 

The Sisters will be celebrating the liberation with a small tour

of Europe and America in January/February, and the release

of a stonking new (Sisters) single on the day after Mr Eldritch's contract

officially expires, which will be a couple of months later.

Work has started on the next (Sisters) album.

Normal service has been resumed.

 

Oh, and in case you haven't got the picture,

we do NOT recommend the purchase of an SSV album,

should East West actually try to sell one to you.

We recommend that you wait for the magic of

the Net to mysteriously provide you with a free one - just this once.

 

BaxCorp"